Familial Fantasy
by Didi
Summary: Jack shares a childhood dream and Claire reciprocates.


**Familial Fantasy**

By: Didi

**Disclaimer**: Obviously I don't own _Lost_, or anything in affiliated with the show. No malice is intended with this little piece of drivel. No infringement intended. If you want me to cease and desist, email me and I'll do just that.

**Timeline**: I guess this could fall anywhere from the birth of Aaron in Season 1 to Jack's abduction at the end of Season 2.

**Summary**: Jack shares a childhood dream and Claire reciprocates.

**Author's Note**: This will be a one-shot. Rattled around for a while so I thought I'd write it and be done with it.

-&-&-&-

The baby started to cry near two in the morning. Claire scrambled blurry-eyed out of her bed of blankets and knelt by her child, hushing him with her sweetly lilted tones. Rocking the cradle gently, she glanced about quickly and was dismayed to see several people peeking through their tents at Aaron's distress. Checking his nappy, offering him milk even swaddling him didn't seem to help. After ten minutes, Aaron began to wail in earnest.

Though she loathed doing it, was even warned against it, Claire picked up her son and began to rock him soothingly as Aaron continued to cry. Quieting a little after several moments of being held in his mother's arms, Aaron looked to be asleep; but when Claire attempted to place the baby back into the cradle, he began to cry again. She looked up when she heard a harsh sound of blankets being tossed aside in anger and found Sawyer watching her in the darkness. And though she couldn't see his shadowed face, Claire didn't have any doubt of his annoyance at being woken up in the middle of the night. She looked away quickly, embarrassed and guilty for having woken everyone; if she hadn't looked away, Claire might have seen the regret on Sawyer's harshly angled face soften by his own self-loathing at having added more stressed to the already frazzled single mother.

Figuring it was best to put some space between the fussy baby and the rest of the camp, Claire headed toward the torch lit path that lined the road to the caves that were now a frequented enough road that Claire felt it safe enough to travel at night. Had she looked behind her, Claire would have been pleasantly surprised and humbled by several members of their little family making to leave the comforts of their tents to offer her help; including a reluctant Sawyer.

"Claire?" Jack called out from his tent as she passed it as quietly as possible with her whimpering child held tightly to her breast.

"I'm sorry," she greeted him with, her face full of regret and apologies; "I'll make him stop."

Offering her an understanding smile, Jack shook his head and left his tent without regret. "It's okay; I'm not bothered by it."

She gives him an grateful smile and continued to gently rock her son against her shoulders. "That's very kind of you, but even I don't like being woken up at the crack of dawn, and I'm his mother."

Jack smiled at Claire's resigned look and the way she said the word 'mother;' there was something ridiculously charming and sweet about this reluctant Madonna. "Claire, cut yourself some slack. The rest of us do understand that this isn't easy for you; we are here to help."

Grateful, Claire nodded her head and tucked the baby a little more firmly in the crook of her arm, rocking him slowly as Aaron fussed. "Thank you but he's my responsibility," looking down at her sweet child, the one she almost gave away had the fates, and an persistent psychic, not intervened. Her heart swelled painfully.

"This isn't about responsibility," Jack explained quietly, waving the other back as he followed Claire up the path. "This is about friends helping each other when they need it the most."

She smiled up at him, momentarily distracted by his kindness, and almost tripped. Squeezing her baby too tight, Claire caught her balance a scant second before Jack's hand caught her. Aaron wailed in her arms and Claire looked horrified for a moment.

"You're fine," Jack reassured her as he helped her back onto her feet, "It's okay. People trip all the time."

"Not with their baby in their hands," Claire closed her eyes and continued to rock her crying child.

"Claire, you're exhausted," Jack pronounced as he peered at her in the torch light. The doctor in him immediately went into diagnosis mode. "You're not getting enough sleep, you're dehydrated and you're definitely not eating enough," feeling the thin arm under his hand. "Claire…" he admonished sternly.

"I know, I know," Claire made a pleading gesture. "But Charlie has a sinus infection and has been at the caves for a while now; breathing in the moisture like you told him to," she pointed out with a big smile. "The others are all trying to keep up with their part in our little community. I can't hunt, gather wood, pick fruit, carry water or even wash clothes; I'm not a doctor like you, a engineer like Sayid or a fisherman like that Korean guy; doesn't exactly seem like I'm doing my part. I can't ask the others to help me with the baby as well."

"Hey, none of that," Jack said gesturing for her to hand over Aaron as they drew further away from the beach camp. Cradling the angry newborn in his arms, Jack smiled. "He's so beautiful," he couldn't help but admire.

"Charlie calls him Turnip Head and Sawyer calls him a screaming monkey," Claire said with a ruthful smile.

Jack laughed, as he was intended to, and rocked the baby gently. The baby quieted slightly and regarded Jack with great big curious eyes much like its mother's. Somehow, despite the stress of their everyday lives, Jack suddenly felt a great weight released from his shoulder as he watch this small innocent child gaze up at him with such trust. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered something sweet from his childhood. "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket; never let it fade away; catch a falling star and put it in your pocket; save it for a rainy day."

Surprised, Claire stopped and stared in silence.

Jack glanced up and smiled. "Something my father use to sing around the house for no apparent reason… when he was in one of his good moods." When Claire continued to stared, "What? Was it really that bad?"

Realizing that she may be inadvertently insulting him, Claire was quick to clarify, "No. You have a very nice singing voice. It's just…" She laughed a little uncomfortably, "That's the song my father use to sing to me when I was very little." When that was met with silence, she suddenly felt compel to explain, "He wasn't really around when I was a child and that's pretty much the only thing I remember about him; he and mum weren't married."

Jack nodded his head with perfect understanding. "My dad wasn't around much when I was a kid either; he was always off being 'The Doctor.'" The memory always brought with it a bitter taste to his mouth but as he grinned down at Aaron whilst the baby cooed sweetly and reached for Jack's stubbly face, he didn't quite feel the familiar heaviness in his heart. "God, he's such a cute little guy."

"You're very good with him," Claire complimented with a smile as she walked beside him, checking the ground every so often for wayward branches. "At least your father stuck around. Mine kind of just left."

Jack shifted the baby in his arm to give Claire at least part of his attention. "Sometime I wonder if that might have been better; if he wasn't around to push me so hard all the time until I thought that I would…"

"No," Claire disagreed with a shake of her head. "Raising a child is definitely a two parent job," she clarified with a shrug. "Life would have been so much…" she stopped herself, not really knowing Jack well enough to share so much.

"What?" Jack asked quietly, understandingly. "What would life have been like?"

She looked at him remembering things from the past and smiled self-consciously. "You'll think it's silly."

Laughing quietly, Jack shook his head. "No more sillier than my childhood fantasy of the perfect family."

Surprised, Claire tilted her head and regarded him with wide curious eyes. "Really?"

"Sure," he shrugged and the baby cooed. Jack grinned down at Aaron again. For someone who often finds himself at a loss as to express his emotions to another human being, Jack had absolutely no problems expressing adoration of this tiny child in his arms. "I'm no different from any one else; I dreamt of the perfect family when things got rough."

"What were they like?" Claire asked, delighting in this intimate glimpse of their usually enigmatic leader.

Jack held the baby up in the moonlight; Aaron laughed in response. "Loving supportive parents, a father that didn't drink and a mother who didn't smoke; a house that wasn't always empty, besides servants anyways; great big dog in the yard instead of the perfectly tended flower garden; a younger brother or sister to play and conspire with."

"You were an only child?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah; made for a very lonely childhood."

"Um…"

"What?"

"Oh nothing," Claire shrugged.

"No, what?" he asked moving his face out of the way as Aaron struggled further out of his swaddling and made a grab for his nose.

Claire slanted him grin, "I just assume you were like the eldest of five brothers and sisters. You have that whole protective big-brother, responsible one manner; very oldest child," then she thought for a moment, "Or a Leo."

Amused and more than just a little enchanted, Jack wondered why he hadn't taken the time to know Claire a little better in the months they've been stuck on this forbidden island. "No, I wish I had a younger sibling… actually when I was about eight or nine, I remember wanting a sister."

"A sister?" Claire asked curiously.

"Yeah," Jack admitted with a nod. "I know what you're thinking; why would a little boy wish for a little sister?"

"Well…" The look in Claire's eyes said enough.

"I wanted a kid sister," Jack said with a grin, "Because I wanted to be the big brother. I wanted to be that bigger, wiser, older brother that little kids look up to; the kind that protected you from the bullies and held your hand when you crossed the street and… you know, the whole protective big-brother, responsible thing."

Chuckling, Claire reached to tuck the baby's arms in as Aaron tugged violently at Jack's shirt collar. "Well, you've certain perfected the role."

"Well, that wasn't the only reason," Jack admitted as he helped Claire tuck the giggling baby back into his swaddling blanket. When Claire glanced at him for clarification, "My father made a comment once, on one of those rare occasions when he had dinner at home with my mother and me, about what would have been like to have a little girl around the house." Jack frowned for a moment at the memory, a little more confused than concern. "He just looked so…so…" he searched his brilliant mind for a moment for the right word. "He looked so _delighted_ with the idea of having a little girl. I don't think I've ever seen my father happy, I mean really happy; and I think that was about as close as it ever got."

"Your mom didn't want more kids?" Claire asked cautiously. One never knew people's reasoning behind things.

"Couldn't," Jack explained as they neared the caves and the sound of the spring reached his ears. The baby, apparently, also heard it and didn't find it to be a particularly soothing sound and begin to fuss again. "There was some kind of incident when I was…" he struggled a moment with the squirming baby.

"Here, let me," Claire said as she took the child and forcefully tucked Aaron in the crook of her arm, pressing the little face against her breast. "Rose said that the baby likes to hear heartbeats; it reminds them of their time inside their mum."

Jack smiled as Claire began to track back toward the beach again. "You're a natural."

"Not really," shaking her head and sighing with some resignation. "But I've kind of gotten use to having to learn fast. I didn't have a whole lot of family around growing up. Kind of had to learn to be pretty self reliant. My father would send money pretty regularly; he was at least good about that. But it was mostly just me and me mum; and mum sometimes blamed me for existing." She smiled down at her son knowing that she would never feel that way about him. "When I was a little girl, I used to have this fantasy of my father coming back for me one day. He'd take me away to this great big house and I would be his little princess. And I would have a big brother; someone I could turn to when I was in trouble. He would take care of me, protect me and I would be wanted."

Nodding his head with understanding, Jack sighed a little tiredly. "I think my father would have liked you. You would have been exactly what he wanted. Bright, pretty, spirited; his perfectly little girl."

Claire dimpled up at him. "And you would have made an excellent big brother; you being protective like and all."

Jack smiled, believing that being a big brother to Claire would have been wonderfully easy. "Weird, isn't it?"

"What?" she asked softly as she peered down at her finally sleepy child.

"That even as grown ups, we can't let go of wishing for things that we know isn't there and can't come true."

"Why?" she asked a little bemused. "Nothing wrong with wishing; keeps our hopes alive."

A little startled by the simple logic, Jack tripped on a protruding branch and almost ran headlong into a tree.

"Are you all right?" Claire asked, reaching for him.

"I'm okay," Jack laughed as he straightened and looked at Claire and Aaron. "Come on, let's get back to the camp and get some rest before both of us fall asleep on our feet."

"Thanks for walking with me, Jack."

"It was nice… and was my pleasure."

The end…


End file.
